


The One with the Deserted Island

by thoughtlessblogger



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Crack, Humor, I don't know, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, OT5 Friendship, POV Louis, i think this would classify as crack, not much of this makes sense, they're stranded on an island
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 06:30:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2955812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtlessblogger/pseuds/thoughtlessblogger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've been here for two days. Two days and all they've eaten are bananas – Harry seems to be the only one okay with that. Niall keeps complaining about not having chocolate. Louis's not going to lie. He'd love to have chocolate, but he's pretty sure they have bigger problems. Like the fact that they're on a deserted island with no recollection of how they'd gotten there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One with the Deserted Island

**Author's Note:**

> All this was was me waking up in the middle of the night and typing a scene out where Liam and Louis were discussing geography, which I think was due to the geography test I had the next day. It wasn't supposed to be this long, but it is.  
> It's crack. It's fiction. And I know I have it tagged as Larry, but it's more Ot5 than anything.  
> Enjoy!

It's fucking ridiculous whatever this is. And he's not completely sure, but he _might_ be on an _island_. And if he's being perfectly honest, he has no idea how he got here. All he knows is that he was on a plane from London to New York with the lads and then he was waking up – wet, confused, and alone – on the ground surrounded by trees and bugs and god knows what else.

And what's weirder is there is no plane – or any broken parts of a crashed plane. And like, _there is no one else around_. The only signs of life he's come across in what he thinks is an hour since waking up is bugs, birds, and a very angry looking snake that he beat off with a very flimsy twig. So he's continuing his look for people. Any people, really, but mostly he just wants to find the lads.

He's almost certain that he's on a deserted island – or at least a part of a inhabited island that has no people – and he _needs_ to find the lads. They may not even be here, he doesn't know. He doesn't know anything at the moment. He just wants to find them. Mostly for his own sanity, but also, he knows Niall does not like being alone in strange places. Also, Liam – bless him – is probably trying to be the hero and find everyone, but he's probably just causing more trouble. Zayn's probably just resigned himself to sitting against a tree and sleeping until he either dies, gets eaten by a big animal, or one of them finds him. And Harry – _Harry_. Shit.

He needs Harry. He needs Harry now. He needs to know that Harry is alive and safe. Because, as much as Harry loves the outdoors, he's not very good at being outside. And now he's even more worried than he was before. He needs Harry to be okay.

And like, there's a chance they're all together. There's a chance this is some elaborate prank to get back at him for all his smaller pranks that have accumulated over the years and they're all sitting around having a laugh at his expense.

And he's probably losing his mind. He's been walking around this tropical forest thing for a while now and he's found no one. He's alone. Completely alone. He hasn't even seen any cute animals that could eat him. He's terrified. He has never felt this kind of fear in his life.

Stopping and picking up a large stick, hoping he can use it to fight off any attackers, he prays to every god he can think of that he finds someone soon.

**

Maybe hiding behind a fallen tree was not his best idea. He'd been walking along, looking for someone or something when he'd heard a branch break. He'd frozen and listened because he has no idea what's in this forest and he does not want to die without having told Harry he loves him – which he will not admit to anyone if he gets out of here and it's also ridiculous because Harry knows he loves him. They've told each other a million times, but still.

He'd listened and heard another branch break, which only caused him to panic. He'd started looking for a place to hide and the only place he saw was a fallen tree. So, he'd took off for it. It wasn't until he continued to hear the thing – whatever it was – walking toward the tree did he think about it not being the best place to hide.

He's sitting perfectly still – which is a major hardship for him – and listening intently to the footsteps of whatever this is. It's getting closer and – it's stopped. It's stopped right on the other side of the tree. Louis holds his breath. _What does he do?_

He takes a very quick moment to decide his course of action. He's most likely going to die anyway, so he might as well face his potential attacker. At least he'll die brave even if no one is around to see it. Taking a tighter hold of the stick in what he hopes is a defensive way, he leaps up, turning around and screams.

And he keeps screaming, thrusting the stick forward and pulling it back toward his chest repeatedly and – oh. He stops screaming and thrusting the stick about and his eyebrows knit in confusion while he tilts his head to the side. It's fucking Liam. And all he can do is stare.

“Louis?” Liam asks, eyebrow raised in confusion and amusement. “That's not a very big stick.”

Louis snorts, affronted. “You're not a very big stick.” Liam's eyebrow raises higher and he looks even more amused. “Oh, fuck off. I thought you were going to kill me.”

“And a tiny stick was going to save you?”

Louis glares. Liam doesn't say anything so he stops glaring and gives Liam a once over. He's covered in dirt and mud. His white t-shirt is ripped in multiple places and there's a scratch on his face. He realizes he must look sort of similar when he notices Liam doing the same to him.

“You look terrible,” Liam says, face going soft and concerned.

He purses his lips. “Thanks for that. You don't look much better.”

“Does your head hurt?” Liam asks, ignoring him.

He's going to say something sassy back, but now that Liam mentions it, his head does hurt a little. He reaches a hand up and gingerly touches the spot that's hurting. There's definitely a spot there. He can tell by the way it feels wet and gooey. And if that wasn't enough to give it away, when he brings his hand back down his fingers are covered in blood.

“I've been walking around bleeding out of my head for god knows how long.”

Liam sighs and moves to sit on the tree. “Do you remember anything?”

He gives the back of Liam's head a pointed look before hopping over the tree and sitting next to him. “No. You?”

Liam shakes his head. “When I woke up I thought maybe it was a plane crash, but that doesn't make sense for a lot of reasons.”

“I haven't seen any plane wreckage,” Louis points out.

“Exactly, but I don't know how we'd've gotten here then.” 

Louis doesn't say anything as Liam lowers his face into his hands. He doesn't know what to say. He's just as confused as Liam appears to be.

“Do you think the others are here?” Liam mutters into his hands.

“I don't see why they wouldn't be. Wouldn't make sense otherwise.”

“What about this makes sense?”

Louis opens his mouth to argue, but immediately snaps it shut when he realizes Liam is right. “We should try to find them,” he says instead.

“Yeah, alright.” 

They stand simultaneously and Louis goes to walk to his right, but stops when he sees Liam going toward the left.

“What are you doing?” Louis asks, causing Liam to stop and turn to him. “Where are you going?”

“I'm going this way.” Liam points behind him.

Louis doesn't want to argue, so he nods and follows after Liam.

**

“We've been sitting here for thirty minutes, Louis.”

“What's your point, Liam?”

Liam sighs. “We should start looking again.”

“Yeah.”

When Louis makes no move to go, Liam throws his arms up. “You can't still be mad at me!”

Louis looks up at him and glares. “I fell into a hole and you kept walking.”

It wasn't that big of a hole, but it was big enough for Louis to fall _into_ it. And Liam – claiming he didn't notice – kept walking.

“You're fine, though,” Liam responds, like it excuses him leaving Louis to die. “Come on. We need to keep looking.” Louis still doesn't move. He just rubs at his leg that's been hurting ever since he fell. “Don't you want to find Harry?”

He looks up at him and narrows his eyes. “That's dirty, Payne.”

Liam raises an eyebrow. “Don't you?”

Louis lets out a long sigh before standing. “Yeah. Let's go.”

He moves to go to his left, but Liam goes right. 

“What are you doing?” he asks. “Last time we followed your path we went in circles for ages and I fell into a hole!”

“We should go this way,” he says, continuing to walk, but when he notices Louis isn't following he stops and turns to stare at him.

“I think we should go this way.” Louis points to the left.

“We're going this way,” Liam argues, pointing to the right.

“We're going _this_ way,” he argues back, continuing to point in his direction.

“Why do you always have to disagree with what I say?” Liam asks.

“Why do _you_ always have to disagree with what I say?” Louis parrots, placing his hands on his hips.

Liam brings a hand up to rub at his temples. “We're getting no where.”

“I agree with that.” 

He lowers his hand and gestures to his direction. “Still, I think we should go this way.”

“No.” And Louis is about to argue more, but they're interrupted by a very familiar voice.

“You two are fucking ridiculous.”

Louis and Liam both turn to see Zayn walking up to them. 

“Zayn?” Liam breathes out, in disbelief.

It's nice, yeah that they've found Zayn, but it's still not Harry and Louis is trying very hard not to think about what that could mean.

“Who the fuck else would it be?” Zayn spits out as he comes to stand between the two of them.

“I thought it might've been just us,” Liam explains.

“Well, I'm here too.”

“Right. Let's go.” Louis claps his hands together and starts to walk in the way of his original plan.

“Why are you going that way?” Liam's voices stops him. He turns and glares at him. “Why can't we go this way?” Liam continues, pointing in his direction again.

“We're going to go this way.” Zayn says before taking off in a straight line, continuing the path he'd been on. “Remember the name of our band,” he says over his shoulder. “One Direction,” he adds, uncharacteristically jovial.

Liam and Louis exchange a look – because Zayn's never like this and it doesn't make sense as to why he'd be making jokes when they're in the middle of no where and have no idea why – both shrugging before following after Zayn. Louis supposes it might be because Zayn's under emotional stress.

“Why this way?” Liam asks once they catch up.

“I'm trying to find some sort of beach,” Zayn answers.

“You think there is one?”

“We're on an island, Liam.”

“Uh, hold on.” Louis jogs forward a little bit and then turns to walk backward so he can face Zayn. “How do you know this is an island?”

Zayn shrugs. “Just have a feeling.”

“Uh-huh,” he drags out. “And does this feeling happen to know how we got here?”

Zayn shoots him glare. “I don't remember anything.”

“Why do you still look so put together?” Liam directs at Zayn.

Louis spares a glance at Zayn. Liam's right. Zayn doesn't look any different to when they were on the plane. His hair is a little ruffled, but there's no cuts or rips or anything.

Zayn shrugs in lieu of an answer. 

“Louis,” Liam starts, “do you really think it's a good idea to be walking back-”.

Liam doesn't get to finish because Louis's foot hits something on the ground and he's sent hurtling to the ground. He lands on his back and just blinks up at the sky. 

He hears Liam mutter “never mind” as Zayn leans over him.

“You okay?”

“Tell me Zayn, what possible answer aside from no could I have to that question?”

He knows he's being snarky and he's not exactly doing it on purpose. It's just given the circumstances he's a little more irritable than usual and he's scared – which he will refuse to admit.

Zayn holds out a hand. “Come on. Get up.”

Louis takes it and allows Zayn to help him.

“If we get off this island,” Louis starts, brushing off his clothes, “I will apologize for being an arse and also thank you for helping me up.”

Zayn gives him a bemused look. “You're always an arse.”

Liam snorts from behind Zayn. 

“I hate you both,” he mutters as he walks away.

**

A hand on his arm stops him from walking any farther. When he turns, Liam lets go of his arm and Louis cocks an eyebrow. “It's getting dark,” is all the explanation Louis gets.

“No fucking shit, Liam.”

“Louis, there's no need to be rude,” Liam chastises.

“Liam's got a point,” Zayn says, coming to a stop and turning to them. “We need to find a place to camp out for the evening.”

“We still haven't found Harry,” he pouts.

“Or Niall,” Liam adds, giving Louis his disapproving look.

He clears his throat. “Right. Or Niall.”

“We can't keep looking in the dark,” Zayn points out. “We don't know what's out there.”

“This could actually help us.” Zayn and Liam turn to Louis with raised eyebrows. “We build a fire. If they're anywhere close they'll see the glow from it. If not we keep the fire going into the daylight and use it to send a smoke signal.”

Zayn blinks slowly. “That's a good idea. Or we could go to their fire.” He points to a spot behind Louis. 

Louis and Liam both turn their attention to where Zayn's pointing and they see a glow from a fire not to far in the distance. He tries not to get hopeful in case it isn't Harry – and Niall – but they've been searching all day.

“What if it isn't them?” Liam asks.

“Who else would it be?” Louis responds.

“There were other people on the plane,” he explains. “If it was a plane crash...” he trails off, waving a hand in the air.

“We should go either way.” Zayn takes a couple of steps forward, but stops abruptly. “Although, what if they try to kill us?”

It sounds more like a question to himself, which is kind of weird because Zayn isn't one to talk to himself, but Zayn's been acting weird the whole time they've been here, so Louis ignores it and starts walking. He doesn't care if they're following him or not. He needs to find Harry and Niall, especially Harry. He's so fucking terrified over the whole thing and he knows Harry must be even more so.

It turns out Liam and Zayn did follow him. And stupid Liam had to go and sneak up on him, putting a hand on his shoulder and making him yelp. And if whoever started this fire knows they're there. Louis turns and glares at Liam who gives an apologetic shrug and smile.

“Who's there?” an unmistakeable Irish voice calls out.

“Niall?” Zayn calls back.

Niall. It's Niall. Thank fuck. They won't die yet.

“Zayn?”

“Yeah. Lou and Liam are with me.”

“Well get the fuck over here,” Niall demands.

The three of them walk forward. The closer they get the easier it is to see that Niall has built the fire in a clearing. It's a small fire, but it emits enough light for them to see Niall standing close to the edge of the clearing.

When they come into view, Niall jumps up. “Thank fuck! I've been alone all day! I thought I was the only one here!”

“Alone?” Louis's heart drops into his stomach.

Niall's face drops, but he doesn't say anything until they're standing directly in front of him. “Harry's not with you?”

“Does it fucking look like it!”

Zayn places a hand on his shoulder. “Louis.”

And like, he gets it. It's not Niall's fault. But he's just so damn frustrated and scared.

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

“What do you remember?” Liam asks.

Niall gives Louis a worried glance before turning to Liam. “I reckon as much as you. Nothing.” After a pause he adds, “Did the plane crash?”

It's hard to tell even with the light from the fire, but Niall's clothes look torn in places and there might be dried blood on the side of his face.

“We don't know.”

“I woke up in a tree. Like literally in the tree.”

Louis takes a step closer to the fire. “In a tree?”

He assumes Niall shakes his head because he doesn't verbally confirm it. “Been walking around for hours. My knee's killin' me. This is the first time I've come across anyone. Figured I'd build a fire so if you all were close you'd see it.”

“We thought the same thing,” Zayn says. “We're trying to get to the beach.”

“There's a beach?” Niall asks, voice laced with confusion.

“He has a feeling,” Liam offers, waving a hand, voice laced with disbelief.

“Okay. What do you plan on doing once we get to the beach?”

“No idea.”

Louis scoffs. “It doesn't matter if there's a beach or not! Harry's still fucking missing!” He turns to see the three of them staring at him with understanding looks. “We have to find him!” He knows he's yelling. He can hear a mild echo, but he doesn't care. “What if- what if he's not okay?”

He stares and tries not to cry, but he fails. He starts full on sobbing. Zayn rushes to him and pulls him into a bone crushing hug.

“He's fine, Lou,” he whispers. “You have to believe he's fine. Because he is. We'll find Harry tomorrow. Or he'll find us. But you have to calm down.”

Louis nods weakly. “I'm just so fucking scared.”

“I know. We all are.”

“Yeah, Lou,” Niall says, wrapping himself around Louis's back. “But Harry's fine. He always is.”

“He's probably charmed some forest animals into helping him,” Liam jokes, adding himself to the hug.

Louis knows that he's not dreaming this, but he really wishes he was. He wants to wake up and have Harry holding him not Zayn, Niall and Liam. He wants to wake up in Harry's arms and have lazy morning sex. He wants to have breakfast in bed with Harry and every other thing they do together, but he can't. Not now as long as Harry's missing and they're stranded wherever it is they are.

He just wants to go home with Harry.

**

It had taken forever, but Louis had finally managed to fall asleep – if you could call it that. He may have gotten a total of an hour of sleep and from the looks of it the others hadn't slept much either. They've all got bags under their eyes and all their movements are slow. They reek of no sleep.

“We need food,” Niall grumbles.

“Yeah, and where do you suppose we get food, Niall?”

“No need to be so rude Liam,” Louis says, picking up a small acorn looking thing and chucking it at him.

Liam barely ducks out of the way. “Not being rude. I just don't know where there would be food.”

“No need to worry,” Zayn says. 

He sounds like he's a distance away and they all turn to see him walking up to them with a handful of bananas.

“Where the hell did you get those?” Niall asks, jumping up and running toward Zayn. “Give me one.” He makes grabby hands, but Zayn walks around him. Niall turns and follows Zayn's movements, pouting. “I want one.”

“And you'll get one in a sec.” He comes to sit next to Louis, but he struggles with the – what looks like twenty – bananas. He drops one and Niall runs over and grabs it before running away. “To answer your earlier question,” Zayn continues not paying any attention to Niall, “there are banana trees.”

“Does this mean there are monkeys here?” Liam questions, brow furrowed as he moves to sit on the other side of Zayn.

“I don't think it's a requirement to have monkeys where banana trees grow.”

“Maybe not,” Niall says around a mouthful of banana. “But banana trees typically grow in the same climate as monkeys live, so.” The three of them stare at Niall open-mouthed. “Just saying,” he shrugs before taking another bite of banana. 

“Didn't notice you were gone,” Louis tells Zayn.

He shrugs. “You all were busy bickering about who let the fire die during the night.”

Zayn hands Louis a banana and it feels like the end of the conversation. He knows he's meant to eat it, but he starts crying over it instead.

“Louis?” Zayn turns his body toward. “You okay?”

He sniffles, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand. “Bananas are Harry's favorite fruit.”

“Well, look at it this way,” Liam starts, “at least he's got food he likes.”

“And if there are monkeys, they've probably adopted him as their king,” Niall offers.

Louis can't stop the laugh that escapes him and he immediately feels guilty. He's laughing while Harry is missing or being held captive by wild monkeys. It just doesn't feel right and he's suddenly not in the mood to eat.

**

“At some point,” Louis starts, while stepping over a log, “we should probably figure out why and how we're here.”

“I agree,” Liam says from somewhere behind him.

“Not until we find the beach.”

“Will you shut up with the beach thing, Zayn.”

Zayn stops walking causing Niall to collide with his back. “You know,” Zayn says as he turns to face Louis. “There has to be a beach.” He shoves at Niall. “And we will find it.”

“How in the hell is a beach going to help us?” Louis demands.

“Why are you so sure there's a beach?” Niall asks.

“Because there is,” is Zayn's brilliant answer.

“I don't think there is one,” Liam argues.

“There is.”

“Isn't.”

“Why is it important?” Louis asks again.

Liam turns to face Louis. “There isn't a beach.”

“You don't know that, though,” Zayn huffs out.

“There isn't one.”

“There is a beach,” a deep, amused, familiar voice says from their right.

“I swear to god if that's him,” Louis trails off when he turns to see Harry.

He's leaning against a tree, arms crossed over his chest, wearing an amused smirk. His hair is still pulled back by the head scarf, little bits escaping to frame his face. His shirt is ripped in several places, but he looks fine beyond that.

“Hello,” he says. “Nice of you to join me.”

Louis is filled with an immediate rage. He doesn't know why, but it's there mixed in with his happiness that Harry is alive.

“I swear to god, Harry Styles,” Louis starts, doing his best to march over to him. He's successful, only tripping on a tree root once. 

“Hello, Louis,” Harry says, taking a step away from the tree.

“You bastard,” Louis says, punching Harry in the stomach. Harry doesn't seem surprised or hurt. “I've been worried sick. Where the hell have you been?” he inquires, punching Harry again.

He doesn't give him enough time to answer, though, before he's pulling Harry into a crushing hug.

“Don't scare me like that again,” he says.

“Same to you,” Harry mumbles, wrapping his own arms around Louis.

“Okay, yeah,” Zayn's voice calls. “It's great and everything that Harry is alive, but you said there's a beach.”

Louis and Harry break apart, both turning to stare at Zayn – Louis with his mouth agape and eyes narrowed. Harry's face lights up and he claps.

“Yes, there is a beach. I was there.”

Liam groans and Niall laughs.

“What the fuck is funny, Horan?” Louis asks, putting his hands on his hips.

“Everything.”

“Harry,” Zayn begins, taking a few steps toward him. “Take us to the beach.”

**

“Okay. Do you think that's the Pacific or Atlantic ocean?” Harry asks, standing near enough to the water that every now and then the water touches his feet.

Niall snorts. “Why does it matter, Harry?”

“Well, like, we need to know where we are.”

Zayn cocks an eyebrow. “We're on a deserted island,” he says forlornly. 

“In the ocean,” Harry counters.

“In the _middle_ of an ocean.”

“Exactly!” Harry exclaims, throwing his arms up.

“Harry, I think you should sit down,” Louis suggests.

“I can't sit down, Louis. We need to know where are so we can leave.”

Liam walks over, holding a stick. “How do you suppose we do that?” 

“Well, we need to start with knowing what ocean we're in.”

“I'd say the Atlantic,” Zayn suggests.

Niall throws a handful of sand at Zayn. “Why?”

“It's warm,” Liam answers.

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Liam, for the love of god, just because it's warm means nothing.”

“I think what Zayn meant was,” Louis begins, “it hadn't been a very long flight before we ended up here.”

Zayn nods. “And we were over the Atlantic.”

“Which Tropic do you think we're in?”

They all turn to stare at Niall with bemused looks. Niall shrugs. “Just wondering.”

Turning to Niall, he quickly says, “Cancer probably. I don't think we would've gone south enough to be in Capricorn.”

“We shouldn't have been this south to begin with,” Zayn argues.

“Right,” Harry drawls out. “So, we're in the Atlantic. That helps.”

Louis gapes for a moment before asking, “How in the world does that help?” 

Harry blinks like Louis is the one not making sense. “Well, we know what ocean we're in. Now we can start devising a plan.”

Harry's losing his goddamn mind. “Like what?”

“We can make our way toward another place,” he says matter-of-fact. “One that's populated.”

“How do you suppose we do that, Harold?” Louis cocks an eyebrow and gestures to the empty beach. “We're on a deserted island. We can't see anything on the horizon. The nearest place is god knows how far away. Do you suppose we swim?”

Harry looks dejected. “I thought we'd build a raft,” he pouts.

Louis momentarily feels bad for snapping at him, but they're on a deserted fucking island. 

“We could build a raft,” Liam muses.

Niall smacks him across the back of the head. “When was the last time you rafted across an ocean?”

“A boat then?” 

“You're all fucking stupid.” Zayn stands. “There is no way we could cross that much water with something we built with fucking twigs.” He bends over and picks up one the twigs Niall had collected and snaps it in half to prove his point.

Ignoring Zayn, Harry takes a couple of steps toward the ocean. “So we're in the Atlantic Ocean, probably in the Tropic of what was it Niall?”

“Cancer.”

“Right. Tropic of Cancer.” Harry turns back to them. “Now, how far east or west are we?”

“Does it matter where we are?” Louis asks, voice slightly raised in annoyance. “Like, in all reality does it really matter? We're on a deserted island, for fuck's sake. We're not going to be saved. We can't get away from here on our own. We're going to be here for forever!”

“How about sea turtles and back hair?” Harry asks, ignoring Louis's outburst, and causing utter confusion. “You know, to build the raft?”

Louis tilts his head. “Are you seriously making a reference to Pirates of the Caribbean right now?”

Harry gives him a toothy grin.

“That could work, though,” Zayn says, sitting up straighter.

“How in the hell would that work?”

Zayn deflates at that.

“You know, Zayn,” Liam says. “You were so insistent that we find the beach. We've found it. Now what?”

Zayn sighs. “I don't know.”

“We're all going to die.”

They all turn to face Niall, who's drawing in the sand with one of his many sticks. When he senses the silence, he looks up at them.

He shrugs. “Well, it was bound to happen at some point.”

“Yeah, later rather than sooner,” Louis points out.

Niall shrugs again, then turns his attention back to his drawing.

Louis's attention is taken away from Niall when Harry sits down next to him.

“Glad we found each other,” Harry says.

“Yeah, we can die together,” Louis only half jokes.

“That was always the plan,” Harry says, looking thoughtfully at the ocean. “Do you have any idea what happened?” he asks, turning to face Louis, squinting because of the sun.

“Not a clue.”

They fall into silence then, listening to the ocean and Liam and Zayn discussing about how a sea turtle and back hair raft would work with Niall interjecting pointless comments. It's weird how even when they're trapped on a deserted island with no idea how they got there that they can still be themselves.

“You look tired,” Harry says, breaking the silence.

“'course I am. Didn't sleep much, did I? Worrying about you.”

Harry, in lieu of an answer, reaches over and pulls Louis into him and then lets them slowly fall back, so they're laying on the sand.

“Don't think for a second,” Harry starts when Louis's gotten comfortable with his head on Harry's shoulder, “that if the others weren't here we wouldn't be having sex on a beach right now.”

“I'd really rather sleep right now,” Louis responds, tweaking one of Harry's nipples. 

Honestly, he'd love to do that, but they're not here by choice and, as Harry pointed out, the lads are here – not that that's stopped them before.

“Go to sleep then,” Harry says.

“You'll be here when I wake up?”

“Of course.”

Louis lets himself relax and does a damn good job of not thinking about their predicament.

**

They've been here for two days. Two days and all they've eaten are bananas – Harry seems to be the only one okay with that. Niall keeps complaining about not having chocolate. Louis's not going to lie. He'd love to have chocolate, but he's pretty sure they have bigger problems.

Like the fact that they're on a deserted island with no recollection of how they'd gotten there. They'd all been in agreement that the plane crashed, but they've not come across any of the other passengers or any plane wreckage. Also, Louis's sure that if the plane had actually crashed their injuries would be worse. So, that idea is seeming less and less possible.

When he'd voiced this earlier, Liam was quick to point out that they don't know how big the island is, so just because they haven't found anything doesn't mean it isn't there. He supposes Liam is right, but he just doesn't understand anything of what's happening.

He's also found out that what he thought the first day on the beach about them still being themselves even in a crisis was wrong. They've been arguing a lot, like actual arguing, not the usual “who took my socks” argument. 

Zayn seems to be losing his mind more and more. To most people, he'd seem almost fine, but they aren't most people. They know Zayn. This is not normal Zayn. Normal Zayn doesn't insist on there being a beach without knowing why it's important. Normal Zayn doesn't make jokes about their band name. Normal Zayn doesn't wake up before anyone else. Normal Zayn does not get bananas from trees. And normal Zayn definitely does not laugh hysterically at people's jokes, especially Harry's.

Liam's acting weird, too, but in a more normal Liam way. He's trying to order everyone around and plan out how they're going to live here until they die. He'd drawn blueprints in the sand of little huts he wanted to build for them. He was quite proud of them and had started ordering them around on how to build them, but Niall had tripped and fallen into the drawings, erasing them. Liam had tried to kill Niall, then yelled at Louis when he said it wasn't a big deal and that he could draw them again.

Harry's been relatively normal, even if he won't tell Louis what he was doing when he was separated from them for a day. He's still cracking lame jokes that aren't funny – unless you look at Zayn's reaction to them. And he's still trying to devise a plan to get them off the island. He's being clingy as fuck, but that's how Harry usually is when they're alone, so that's nothing to go on. Basically, Harry is as normal as he usually is and that's what's worrying Louis. He's worried that Harry's suppressing his panic and it's just going to come pouring out of him when they all least expect it. There's nothing he can do about it, though, so he's doing his best to make Harry feel safe – at least as safe as they can be on a deserted island.

Niall, though, is acting the strangest. He keeps saying these things, these really serious things, like the whole “we're all going to die” thing, but shrugging it off when they question him or try to get him to talk about it. He's also been a little withdrawn. He's not happy, which is funny because you wouldn't expect anyone to be happy in a situation like this. But this is Niall and Niall has always been the one that remains calm and collected and relatively happy in serious situations. Basically, he's worried about Niall the most.

Louis, himself, has been moody, irritable, and downright hard to deal with. He knows that. Of course, he does, but they're on a deserted island and have no idea if they'll ever get home. He'd like to think that he's the one reacting the right way to this, but he also knows that starting arguments and being hard to deal with isn't really the best way to react when they're all in the same situation. But this is how Louis is, which is why he's been relegated to stick duty because it keeps him separated enough from the others so he isn't starting fights, but close enough so he doesn't get himself killed. Nice of them really, to give him such an important safe job to do.

Except, he's not finding any sticks Liam would deem worthy enough of his hut building exercise, so he's just been wondering further and further into the forest – woods? – picking up random sticks and he might be lost.

He's definitely lost. He can't hear the lads or the ocean anymore and he doesn't know which direction to go in to get back. And that is definitely a fucking snake right in front of his foot. The exact same snake from the other day. Though, he's wondering if it really is because how can you tell snakes apart, but this is definitely the same one. It has to be because it...well, it just is. He has a _feeling_.

Also, the reason he's not hitting it with a stick and running away this time is because it's smoking. Not the type of smoking him and Zayn do, but _smoking_. There is smoke coming from various places on this snake. It's also not moving and it's continually hissing. He's not a snake expert, but he's pretty sure they don't hiss continuously like this. 

Taking a hesitant step forward, thanking god the snake didn't move any, he crouches down to get a better look at it. 

“What the fuck?” he mumbles, leaning closer to it.

There's a hole on the side. A hole, in which, if this were a real snake, would be showing blood and guts and god knows what else, but this hole is showing what looks like wires and other various mechanical things.

“I don't understand.”

He reaches out and grabs the (fake?) snake. It doesn't wrench around to bite him. It just continues smoking and hissing. It's not slimy, either. It's not real.

“What?”

He stands, dropping the sticks he'd collected. He brings the snake closer to his face to inspect it. Not that he's going to get anything out of this, but that's what you do when you find a fake snake. There's something weird about this – the whole thing is weird, but this is weirder. There seems to be some sort of camera falling out of the mouth of the snake.

“I fucking knew it!” he exclaims to himself.

He has to get back to the lads. There's a part of him that wants to blame them for this, but Harry can't be this cruel and the others aren't motivated enough to do something this elaborate. So, it's not them, but it's someone and Louis wants to get out of this.

He's sort of just turning in circles, trying to find where to go, when he hears Liam and Zayn yelling at each other. He's far enough away so he can't make out what they're yelling, but he can tell where it's coming from.

He takes a step in the right direction, clutching the snake to his chest. He realizes what he did, shooting his arms out to hold the snake away from him.

“Don't be comin' alive, yeah?” he tells it, before walking back toward the beach.

**

When he comes out of the forest, snake in hand, he sees Niall first. He's taken his shirt off and is clutching it to his chest, looking very much like a disgruntled baby. Zayn is a few steps away, staring up at the sky. Liam and Harry are standing near the fire Liam had managed to make last night.

Harry seems distraught over something and when Louis narrows his eyes to get a better look, he's holding what looks like bananas toward Liam and gesturing wildly.

Louis shakes his head, choosing now to be the best moment to reveal himself.

“You motherfuckers,” he yells, stepping further away from the trees.

Zayn looks away from the sky and Niall comes a few steps closer to him, but no one seems to be too surprised by his yelling.

“Louis,” Liam says, turning toward him, brows furrowed. “Where are the sticks?”

“Didn't get them, Payno,” he says, cheerily. 

“You didn't get them?”

“Nope,” he answers, popping the “p”.

“Louis, the bananas aren't real,” Harry whines, coming up to him. He holds out the bananas and sure enough they aren't real. They're plastic.

“They aren't the only thing that's not real,” he says in return, holding out the snake.

“Whoa!” Niall yells, jumping away. “Louis, what the hell?”

“Relax, Niall,” he says. “It's fake. Got wires and a camera and everything.”

Zayn walks over and takes the snake from Louis, but doesn't say anything.

“A camera?” Liam questions.

“He's right,” Zayn says, pulling the camera out of the snakes mouth. “See.”

“I don't understand,” Harry says, dropping the bananas to the ground. “How is that a fake snake with a camera shoved inside it?”

“We could be hallucinating,” Liam offers.

“We're all hallucinating the same thing?” Louis says, tilting and turning his head to raise an eyebrow at him.

Liam shrugs. “Just a thought.”

“Well, someone is behind this,” Zayn adds. “Fake snakes with cameras inside them aren't something you usually see on a deserted island.”

“Oh thank you so much for that, Zayn. It's not like we didn't know that already.”

“Louis,” Harry says, voice somewhere between a warning and something calming.

Niall clears his throat, like he wants their attention, but when they all turn to him, he stays quiet.

“Oh, what is it, Niall?” Louis questions.

“Well, I wasn't going to mention it before,” he begins, “because I thought maybe I just imagined it or something, but when I woke up I remembered – well I thought I remembered – being put in that tree by Ben.”

Louis slowly blinks. “Ben?”

“What do you mean?” Liam asks.

“Like, it's sort of fuzzy, but I remember seeing Ben.”

“Ben wasn't with us,” Harry points out.

“I know that, Harry. But I'm tellin' ya, Ben was here. At least long enough to drop me into the tree.”

Louis purses his lips. “You're telling me, that Ben fucking Winston, put us on a deserted island with fake fruit and reptiles?”

Niall nods. “I'm saying he had something to do with this, yes.”

“That's good enough for me.”

“Louis,” Harry starts. “Maybe we should have more evidence.”

“Nope.” Louis shakes his head. “I've never much cared for the man. I know you do, Harold, but I don't. If Niall says Ben was a part of this, then Ben was a part of this.”

“That still doesn't help us get off this damn island,” Zayn mutters.

“Wait a minute,” Harry says, holding up a hand. “I think I know a way.”

“Going to share?”

Harry grins devilishly. “Ben was telling me about some new reality show or something he got a job on.”

He stops there. The others seem confused, but Louis knows where Harry is going with this and he grins back at Harry.

“There was a camera in the snake,” he says. “You really think he's set this whole thing up?”

Harry makes a clicking sound with his tongue. “If I remember correctly, it was something about putting groups of friends or family members in stressful situations to see if they'd come out still liking each other.”

“Well, if that's the case,” Zayn says, “then he'd be forced to interfere if he thought someone was actually in danger or something was being taken to far.”

“Exactly.”

**

He should have said no. He really should have. When Liam suggested it, he should have said no way in hell, but he didn't, so here he is. On the edge of a cliff, being yelled at by Liam because he almost “killed Zayn” by knocking him into the water.

Really, it's not the best plan they've ever come up with as a group, but they're tired and all they've had to eat is bananas for forty eight hours, so Louis agreed to it. He just hopes that Harry can pull it together enough to act convincingly.

“You're careless!” Liam yells, and really he's a much better actor than Louis ever gave him credit for. They'd originally picked him because him and Louis have been arguing the most and it would be more believable this way. “You don't care about anyone but yourself!”

“Oh, well, th- that's not true,” he defends, holding his hands up in defense as Liam comes closer to him. “I care a lot about Harry,” he adds, taking a step closer to the edge.

“You almost killed Zayn!”

Liam bends over, picks up a rock and hurls it right at Louis. To anyone watching it would look like Liam has terrible aim, but his aim is actually spot on. Louis told him he could throw things just as long as he didn't actually hit him.

“Well, it's not like I meant to push him in!”

“But you're careless! If you cared more, that wouldn't have happened!”

He picks up a couple of more rocks and throws them “at” Louis, who takes a few more steps back. He glances over his shoulder and – holy shit. That's a long way down and a lot of pointy rocks. This better work.

“You do this kind of shit all the time!”

“What? Nearly kill Zayn? One time. And he's fine!”

“It's not just that! You're all the time causing problems! You aren't happy until there's a problem!”

“Liam!” Harry's voice calls. 

Louis shifts his attention away from Liam. Harry's climbing up the hill with Niall and a dripping wet Zayn behind him.

“Zayn's fine! Leave Louis alone!”

“Don't get any closer Harry!” Louis yells. “Liam's lost his mind! I think he's trying to kill me!”

Louis turns his attention back to Liam. He's somehow managed to get a big pointy stick that could definitely kill Louis if he used enough force.

“Liam, what the fuck are you doing?” Niall yells, tripping and stumbling forward, knocking Zayn and Harry both over.

It wasn't scripted, but it works. Gives Liam more time to play up his “I'm going to kill Louis” thing.

Liam lunges forward a bit, which startles Louis. He trips backwards a bit and is almost sent falling over the edge of the cliff, but he manages to catch himself.

This plan better work soon or he might actually die.

Just as he finishes thinking that, there's the sound of a helicopter in the distance. 

“About bloody time,” Liam says, as he drops the stick.

“Thank fuck.”

Louis quickly walks away from the cliff and is pulled into a hug by Harry.

“Don't pretend like you didn't almost fall,” he yells over the sound of the helicopter.

“Wasn't going to.”

**

When the helicopter had landed and they'd gotten off they were greeted with a smiling Ben Winston. Harry had to hold Louis back because he was most definitely going to take a swing at him.

Ben at least had the decency to apologize for putting them through that. Then he added, “You didn't have to fake all that. Revealing you knew what was going on would have done the trick, you know.”

Harry let Louis hit him then.


End file.
